Who will lead the way?

Those of you who have spoken to me within the last six months will probably be aware (because I have whinged incessantly) that I am about to submit myself to the tender mercy of the NHS for the first time at my not inconsiderable age. Why is this worthy of editorial comment?

Well, I have tried to be a ‘good’ patient, but before submitting myself to the surgeon’s knife I had some key questions:
Q: What is your surgical site infection (SSI) rate?
A: My dear, what is an SSI?
Q: What do you use for skin prep?
A: mmm, iodine and hydrogen peroxide
Q: What postoperative dressing do you use?
A: I really don’t know, it’s a clear plastic thing.